Lesson in Biology

Following is a conversation that Brant and I had the other day. It is where you will all be soon, so I thought I would share it with you. IF you blush easily, please disregard this post. It is strictly biology and anatomy...but still.

Setting: Mini-van driving to Boy Scouts
Characters: Mom (M) and Brant (B)

M: What are you reading back there Brant?
B: A book about snakes. Mom, look- it looks like there is a hot dog in the snake.
M: (driving, not looking back at the book) It might look like a hot dog, but it's probably a mouse or a rodent that he ate.
B: No, it really looks like a hot dog.
M: I know, but a snake wouldn't find a hot dog in the wild, that is just what his stomach looks like when it's bulging.
B: (slightly exasperated) NO- mom, this is a picture and it looks like he has hot dogs.
M: (finally at a light and glancing back, realizes that he is looking at a drawing of the inside of a snake). OH- I see. What do the labels say they are?
B: Re..Resp...Resieratory organs...
M: Respiratory Organs?
b: Yeah, what are those?
M: Lungs, things that help you breathe.
B: OH! The next one is Re...Repro...mmm..repprodooc
M: (Totally seeing where this is going, and wishing that she had insisted that Blair drive Brant to scouts today) Reproductive organs?
B: Yeah! What are they?
M: Reproductive organs mean Boy parts and Girl parts.
B: REALLY! You mean there are boy snakes and girl snakes?
M: Yep. We've talked that it takes a mom and dad to have a baby, so whether you are a snake or a human or any animal, it takes a boy and a girl.
B: What happens if you don't have a daddy and you have a baby?
M: Can't happen. Sometimes people might not be married, and that is a wrong choice, but it always takes a boy and a girl.
B: What about Mary?
M: (knowing we've already had this conversation and that there is no good answer for a kid his age) That is a very special occasion, and won't ever happen again. For everyone else it's a boy and a girl.
B: Okay. SO_ How do snakes mate?
M: (now REALLY wishing it were Blair here) I don't know Brant.
B: I bet it says somewhere in my book. Let's look it up!
M: Okay Brant, great idea (now wondering why she ever taught her child to read, and why would we teach him to research and ask questions. Silently praying it's not in the book).
B: Here it is. I'll read it out loud to you- (thanks Brant :() "The male boa constrictor gently wraps himself around the female boa. He carefully places his sperm inside of her where it will fertilize her eggs which she will lay in her nest."
Silence blankets the car....several very long seconds pass....
M: Cool Brant, Thanks! So...um...do you have any questions?
B: Yeah, there were some words I don't know and I have lots of questions, but I don't think that I want to ask them right now.
M: Okay. So, what else is in that book....
End Scene