In downtown Las Vegas, between the Federal Courthouse and the State Courthouse, there is a courtyard home to leafy trees in the summer and ambient lighting set into park benches; a few palm trees skirt the edge of the park. There is only street parking around the Courthouses, so I often found myself walking through this park, often at a nice clip to make sure I got to Court on time. At first, I would notice the homeless, sleeping if it was early, sitting next to their earthly belongings if later in the day, and, if in the dead heat of summer, crouching behind whatever sliver of shade to which they could retreat. After a while, they became a part of the setting, just another addition to the park. I forgot that they were people, and I worried more about how I would be able to convince the judge that morning that the bank's foreclosure was legal.
Just before our move to Virginia, I had been really focusing on trying to develop Christlike attributes. I wish I could say that it was out of a pure desire to be more Christlike, but in reality it was because I wanted direction in my temporal life and felt like I could be a better receptacle for personal inspiration by focusing more on Christ. Whatever the reason, as I learned more about the Savior and his deep love for me, I began to feel a stronger love toward those around me, even strangers. I remember one pivotal moment, returning from an oral argument at Court, as I passed by a gentleman asleep on the sidewalk, a crumpled wad of clothes under his head. Though I could barely see his face poking out from under a tattered blanket, I could sense profound suffering. My heart groaned and I audibly sighed. I raised my eyes upward, wondering at the ache I was feeling for the individual despite us being complete strangers.
Just before our move to Virginia, I had been really focusing on trying to develop Christlike attributes. I wish I could say that it was out of a pure desire to be more Christlike, but in reality it was because I wanted direction in my temporal life and felt like I could be a better receptacle for personal inspiration by focusing more on Christ. Whatever the reason, as I learned more about the Savior and his deep love for me, I began to feel a stronger love toward those around me, even strangers. I remember one pivotal moment, returning from an oral argument at Court, as I passed by a gentleman asleep on the sidewalk, a crumpled wad of clothes under his head. Though I could barely see his face poking out from under a tattered blanket, I could sense profound suffering. My heart groaned and I audibly sighed. I raised my eyes upward, wondering at the ache I was feeling for the individual despite us being complete strangers.
What made it even more poignant for me, as I walked by with plenty of food in my stomach and a jacket on my back, is that I felt helpless. He was asleep so I could not offer him money or food. I felt ashamed and disheartened and lonely, and as I got to my car, I sat and thought about Christ and his empathy for his children here on Earth. I felt like I had connected somehow on a deeper level with this man, somehow my Spirit had felt his and the matter between us connected for a moment.
Now, tonight I read an article about how 20 million people are starving in the Middle East and East Africa. And I thought, "How is this possible?" How is it possible that so many people can't even find enough to eat to sustain themselves. And my heart broke again at the suffering of humanity. I searched the article for some "How You Can Help" link to see if there was anything I could do, but there was nothing. No donate here. No adopt a starving human being. And I felt helpless again. And I felt selfish that I was worrying about the faint smell of smoke in my new car or that I actually had to cook breakfast for the kids because we are out of cold cereal. And I wished that I would be sensitive enough to suffering more of the time that I would actually work to reach out and help those in such unfortunate circumstances.
With 20 mn people starving, world faces greatest humanitarian crisis since 1945: UN: Unicef has already warned that 1.4 million children could starve to death this year
I'm really glad you posted this. It's a topic I feel strongly about, as I know Mike does as well.
ReplyDeleteEmpathy is a gift that I have been blessed (cursed?) with, and I admit that at times I try to stifle it. It's easier for me to not read the news, because almost every time I do, I find a story or several that makes me cry and my heart hurt for days afterward. (The feeling you described when walking past the sleeping man is something I am very familiar with!) But I know that these feelings are a gift from Heavenly Father, to help me be more willing to help my brothers and sisters. Rather than willfully ignore the suffering around me in order to prevent my own pain, I need to pay attention and accept that not only will those feelings help me help others, they will make me a more Christlike person.
Mike will probably get mad at me for sharing this, but I think people should be aware of what a great example he is to me of turning empathy into Christlike action. There are so many examples I could share, but the one that has always stood out the most to me is from a business trip I accompanied him on a few years ago. It was down to southwest Colorado, and his boss and coworker were there as well. We had planned to go out to dinner with them one night, but before the time came to meet them at the restaurant, Mike decided to get a couple of the hotel's free hot dogs, ignoring my warning that it would spoil his appetite for dinner.
Sure enough, he ordered a full meal at dinner, took two bites, and decided he was full. As he asked the waiter for a to-go box a mere ten minutes into the meal, his boss, coworker, and I gave him a friendly hard time for eating so much beforehand and then ordering a full meal. We asked if he'd even be hungry enough when he got back to the hotel to eat his leftovers. He quietly rebuffed our teasings, until he finally came out with it: "It's not for me. It's for the man outside."
Mike had noticed, as we walked in, a homeless man and his dog sitting outside the restaurant. They weren't begging for money or food, just enjoying a shady, quiet spot. Mike's simple statement shut us up for the rest of the meal.
As we left the restaurant, we passed the man and his dog. Mike said, in his friendly way, "Hi there! How are you?" The man replied with a typical answer, and Mike handed him the leftovers. "I ordered too much tonight. Would you like this meal?" The man gratefully accepted, and rather than bid him goodnight and walk away, Mike stayed and chatted for another few minutes, introducing himself and me, asking the man's name, asking where he was from and about his dog.
This episode sticks with me because Mike helped with the man's physical hunger, but also reached out to him emotionally and made him feel like someone was interested in him. As we walked away a few minutes later, Mike said, "I hope that in heaven I get to meet that man, and spend more time talking to him."
From this and dozens of other experiences like it, Mike is probably the most Christlike person I know.
I'm glad that you brought this issue up, because I feel like showing love for others is the most important thing we can do to become more like Christ, and draw closer to Him. Obviously every commandment is important, but I feel like so often we get caught up in the minutiae ("Does this soda have caffeine?" "Is my skirt too short?" "Did I read my scriptures for exactly 30 minutes today?") that we forget to be loving. So thank you for turning our focus to an important issue.
I love this articl. Now I feel guilty because we had like 12 cheesburgers at McDonalds and Sarah wanted to feed the guy on the corner one. We said no and she almost cried because of how bad she felt for him. She was also upset with us because of how complacent we had become towards those begging on the corners. It's true, it's like we don't even see them anymore. We have so much to be thankful for. Even for a car that smells like smoke or a house with garage doors that don't roll up the right way. thanks Greg.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Greg. I often have the same thoughts, and wish there was a way I could help everyone I came by. I have a dream of having enough money to build some small house where I can temporarily house and rehabilitate people in difficult circumstances. I'll never have the money for that so I have to resort to what I can do!
ReplyDeleteAs Liz has alluded to, I don't like to share my experiences much, but I can say that opportunities to help other people, not only giving money but most of all time and conversation, has been the most rewarding experience of my entire life. I've discovered that as much as these individuals have temporal needs, they also have a deeper emotional need to feel humanized and not be characterized as only a beggar, but as someone who is worth getting to know and talking to.
Also I've discovered the more we pray for these experiences, the more they come up, as long as we have the courage to help. And it's incredibly fulfilling. Hopefully we can all give a bit more thought as to how we can help those who are in need around us.
I think this is one of the things that I have the hardest time with, is wanting to help, but at times feel helpless of being able to help, usually wanting to give money or items and things that would be useful for others in town or even other countries. Thankfully there are so many opportunities of service we are able to do, and for the most part, its not too far away from the majority of us to go down to a soup kitchen or to a humanitarian center to give our time to do these services, I sometimes feel and wonder if that's even enough? Other blessing is the church has tithing slips where we can donate for these things as well. Thanks for this reminder Greg, that Jeff and I need to do more of our part in serving. That was something that we wanted to dedicate ourselves when we moved.
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